a short bit

John and his goddamned grey hair slicked back like a trapped animal snapped their voice commands as though they were a surreal painter on a lethal mix of meth and turpentine.

“Format your document as per the standard protocol! Yes! Utilize the facilities only twice per shift! Fifteen, by five-o-now! Stop that immediately! Steven, what are you doing? Steven!”

I looked to his monitor. “Well, John. I–“

“Get to it, Steven! No unnecessary verbal output! “

“Alright, I’ll get to it, you old knife.” I pressed the button.

There was a muffled boom. The cubicle ship shook, and John’s monitor went black, but not before I had the extreme pleasure of seeing the death-angels take over his windowpod.

After the next sleep cycle, a few of my coworkers came over to my station wondering if I knew what happened, who might have the bravery or the know-how to do such a thing, how am I so much younger than everyone else, all that. I shrugged them all off.

I can’t have people constantly bothering me while I’m working on my next device.



the following is the beginning of… something. whether it ends, or even continues, is up to you. email me [cruxymox@yahoo.com] with your thoughts, whether they be yes!, ugh., or the next sentence/paragraph/chapter. anything, really.

reality is slick and black – one might slip their fingers through it and stain. were there any, wet shadows would steal rumors from passers-by.

i and two broken coins in my hand. a veil over reality, oiled.

listen – you will not find me sympathetic.

so i’ve the two coins, finger-things clink-clink-clinking as they would, while crawl i do through this rotting hole. it is the only sound – i can be very quiet when i wish.

i am heading to the seller of books. i’ve learned of one that interests me. may i learn something that i need. i wonder what look the book has been given, what it will cost me. not my two coins. certainly not my two coins. clink-clink.

it’s then i notice something in my path. it is a human, a small female. it is standing still, staring, glaring at me. it has not run screaming away. burning blood does not pour from its eyes. oddly, it maintains a regular heartbeat. slow. in my way. it seems i will need to either eat it, or worse still, communicate with it. i hold steady, and wait to see what it will do.


urgh. english-languaged. not a question though. so i wait. quiet, my coins.

“welll… arn’t-y’guna seisumthing?”

an odd question. i open several mouths and oscillate various tongue-snakes. beyond that i do not respond. i continue to wait.

it comes closer, a hand reaching out to touch–

remember. remember.

…fast i extend pseudopodia. grab the girl, grab the girl. annoyance turned into a neatly wrapped-trapped meal. my digestive system ululates. mmm.

onward i slink. clink-clink.

an hour passes perhaps. two. the tunnel-muck pleasurable in all ways. no other travelers but for the ones acting as nutrients for the mushrooms. three. the unseen violence of mushrooms. some are as large as i am, rooted in limbs of the ceiling. four. others are biolumines–


the small human female. sorcerer! fully digested, but the intangibles remain, and now they’re… mine.


it tries to w-waggle one of my arm extensions, there is no result.


i nearly drop my coins.

by the thirteen eyes of [REDACTED]. calm, small human female.


evie. noted. listen, evie. it seems that we are to be together for some period of time. you are going to have to adapt your speech patterns, or else be tuned out completely.

FIIINE. But sometimes I get to waggle your things.

that is… fair.

would it be fair? to give control of one’s physical aspects over to another. it is–

A lot, maybe! Now let me try it.

i allow access to a portion of myself. evie fumbles a bit with an appendage, forming it into a human arm. a hand with twenty two fingers at its end. it–


…she. she crushes a mushroom growing from a corpse in the wall. screaming is minimal. i regain control, dissolving the fungus remnants.

That was cool! But gross too, I could feel it… Eww!

i did not.

a learning experience for both of us, then.

let us go.

The book!

the book.

continue on i – we – do.

tin air

When I touch a tin can, or one of aluminum, something in its chemical makeup changes. I’ve no clue what – I’m no scientist – but it becomes lighter than air.

My parents discovered this when I was very little. They told me I had knocked an empty can of soda onto the floor… but it never actually hit the floor. The can floated up to the ceiling with a light clank.

Being highly superstitious, and frightened of what the neighbors might think, my parents told no one of the incident. They made sure that I was never near any sort of can again. They stopped drinking soda. No more frozen juice, or canned vegetables, just fresh produce.

While much more paranoid than usual, they certainly ate healthier.

I never found out exactly what happened to that first soda can. I think it was somehow hidden in a ceiling lamp. That may have involved possibly touching the can. Or my father climbing up a ladder. So I really have no idea.

I started off talking about my strange ability, and somehow it turned into talking about my parents. Isn’t that always the way.

For the longest time, I stayed away from nearly anything metal. Kassiterophobia ruled. Even with this unusual fear, I remained a social person, had a very well-paying job, and eventually met someone, falling in love.

My wife helped me with my phobia. She gradually convinced me that it was harmless. She was shocked the first time she saw what happened when I touched a can, but over time – quite a bit of time – got used to it.

We never told anyone about it. We didn’t want the ridiculous media all over me, nor scientists poking and prodding. We did experiment with my ability ourselves, however.

Once I touched something of tin or aluminum, no matter how long I touched it, that item then behaved exactly like a helium balloon, except it never lost its buoyancy. Over years and years, we had cans floating at various heights in our kitchen, some painted, some with flowers. My wife turned an oddity into something of beauty.

When she died suddenly, I broke. I became a recluse. I bought my neighbors’ houses, and cleared the contents.

I started buying as many cans as I could, emptying my bank account. I filled the houses, yards, and twenty-three large mobile storage units.

On the tenth anniversary of her death, I started opening cans, releasing them into the air.

No one expected the dark cloud that came clanking into the city.

tagged on tumblr

i decided, yet again, that i do not post here often enough. as i pay for the domain name, i should post more. so here we go.

on tumblr, i was tagged by the very talented poet @firesdontapologise to answer nine questions. i usually warp the game a bit and answer in a different sort of way, but i’ll keep it easy today.

  1. first name? tom
  2. relationship status? married
  3. favorite colors? black, grey
  4. birthday? march 1st
  5. where do you live? waltham, massachusetts
  6. what are you currently reading? black wings of cthulhu, vol. 5 – s.t. joshi
  7. marvel or DC? DC (vertigo), for the sandman
  8. favorite music artists? QNTAL, clan of xymox, a myriad more
  9. occupation? retail management

simple enough, yes? yes.

the next rule in this particular tag game is to mention nine other people, and have them answer the same questions.

as i typically do, i shall break this rule. well. bend it a bit. if you have bothered to read this far, and have not answered these questions already, you – yes, you – are tagged.

if you have any further questions for me, related to the above or not, feel free to ask me any time.

more ancientday items

nostalgia is a strange thing, when it comes to stuff. so much stuff.

here’s a list of anime dvd’s (and a couple of music video vhs tapes) that may not sell at a yard sale. but if you read this, and you’re interested, reach out.

title format
bauhaus vhs
lonely is an eyesore vhs
akira dvd
blood: the last vampire dvd
cowboy bebop [1-6] dvd
cowboy bebop movie dvd
excel saga [1-6] dvd
FLCL (fooly cooly) [1] dvd
ghost in the shell dvd
martian successor nadesico [1-6] dvd
martian successor nadesico movie dvd
ninja scroll dvd
oh my goddess! [1-2] dvd
oh my goddess! the movie dvd
photon: the idiot adventures dvd
trigun [box set] dvd
vampire hunter d: bloodlust dvd
X [1-5] dvd
X movie dvd

cassette tapes & lp’s, oh my

i’ll be converting probably about half of these to mp3 format at some point.

artist album LP?
10,000 maniacs because the night
10,000 maniacs our time in eden
10,000 maniacs the wishing chair
bauhaus 1979-1983
bauhaus bela lugosis dead / boys
bauhaus burning from the inside
bauhaus swing the heartache – the bbc sessions
bauhaus the sky’s gone out
clannad fuaim
cocteau twins garlands
cocteau twins head over heels
cocteau twins heaven or las vegas
cocteau twins the pink opaque
cocteau twins treasure
cocteau twins victorialand
cranberries everybody else is doing it, so why can’t we?
cure a letter to elise
cure boys don’t cry
cure disintegration
cure entreat
cure faith / carnage visors
cure friday i’m in love
cure high
cure japanese whispers
cure just like heaven Y
cure kiss me, kiss me, kiss me
cure mixed up
cure never enough
cure pornography
cure seventeen seconds
cure the head on the door
cure the peel session
cure the top
cure why can’t i be you? 12″ remix Y
curve doppelganger
curve pubic fruit
damned machine gun etiquette
damned phantasmagoria
damned the light at the end of the tunnel 1
damned the light at the end of the tunnel 2
daniel ash coming down
duran duran arena
duran duran big thing
duran duran decade
duran duran duran duran
duran duran liberty
duran duran notorious
duran duran rio
duran duran seven and the ragged tiger
enigma carly’s song
enigma MCMXC a.D.
enigma mea culpa part II
enya enya
enya shepherd moons
enya watermark
faith no more the real thing
foreigner 4
foreigner agent provocateur
foreigner inside information
foreigner records
garbage stupid girl
glove blue sunshine
guns n’ roses appetite for destruction
guns n’ roses lies lies lies
jane’s addiction ritual de lo habitual
kate bush hounds of love
kate bush lionheart
kate bush never for ever
kate bush the dreaming
kate bush the kick inside
kate bush the sensual world
kate bush the whole story
live mental jewelry
love and rockets earth + sun + moon
love and rockets express
love and rockets love and rockets
love and rockets seventh dream of teenage heaven
lush gala
lush spooky
metallica black
metallica master of puppets
ministry psalm 69: the way to succeed and the way to suck eggs
morrissey bona drag
morrissey kill uncle
morrissey my love life
morrissey november spawned a monster
morrissey sing your life
morrissey tomorrow
morrissey viva hate
morrissey your arsenal
my bloody valentine isn’t anything
my bloody valentine loveless
p j harvey dry
quiet matters world
siouxsie and the banshees peepshow
siouxsie and the banshees twice upon a time / the singles
smiths …best 2
smiths best… 1
smiths louder than bombs
smiths meat is murder
smiths rank
smiths strangeways, here we come
smiths the peel session
smiths the queen is dead
soil bleeds black the kingdom & it’s fey Y
squeeze cosi fan tutti frutti
sugarcubes here today, tomorrow next week!
tones on tail tones on tail
yes 90125
yes big generator

a ridiculously large list of cd’s that i’m clearing out

items in red have been claimed.

artist album
10,000 maniacs blind man’s zoo
10,000 maniacs candy everybody wants
10,000 maniacs hope chest
10,000 maniacs in my tribe
10,000 maniacs mtv unplugged
alanis morissette supposed former infatuation junkie
alanis morissette under rug swept
ani difranco up up up up up up
anneli drecker tundra
apocalyptica apocalyptica plays metallica by four cellos
apocalyptica cult
apocalyptica inquisition symphony
apoptygma berzerk 7
apoptygma berzerk harmonizer
apoptygma berzerk soli deo gloria (digitally remastered)
apoptygma berzerk welcome to earth
arcadia so red the rose
arcana the last embrace
arcanta the eternal return
arcanta the sacred and the profane
aria (paul schwartz) aria
aria (paul schwartz) aria 2 – new horizon
bauhaus in the flat field
bauhaus mask
bauhaus press the eject and give me the tape
bauhaus rest in peace – the final concert
bel canto birds of passage
bel canto magic box
bel canto rumour
bel canto shimmering, warm & bright
bel canto white-out conditions
bella morte the quiet
bella morte where shadows lie
big bad voodoo daddy big bad voodoo daddy
bjork big time sensuality
bjork debut
bjork homogenic
bjork post
bjork vespertine
black tape for a blue girl a chaos of desire
black tape for a blue girl as one aflame laid bare by desire
black tape for a blue girl ashes in the brittle air
black tape for a blue girl halo star
black tape for a blue girl mesmerized by the sirens
black tape for a blue girl remnants of a deeper purity
black tape for a blue girl the rope
black tape for a blue girl the scavenger bride
black tape for a blue girl with a million tearstained memories
boa tall snake ep
boa twilight
brendan perry eye of the hunter
changelings amphibian
changelings changelings
changelings terra firma
cibo matto stereo type a
cibo matto viva! la woman
cirque du soleil alegria
cirque du soleil collection
cirque du soleil dralion
cirque du soleil la nouba
cirque du soleil O
cirque du soleil quidam
clannad banba
cocteau twins bbc sessions
cocteau twins bluebeard
cocteau twins evangeline
cocteau twins four-calendar café
cocteau twins heaven or las vegas
cocteau twins milk & kisses
cocteau twins otherness
cocteau twins snow
cocteau twins stars and topsoil
cocteau twins tiny dynamine + echoes in a shallow bay
cocteau twins tishbite 1
cocteau twins tishbite 2
cocteau twins treasure
cocteau twins twinlights
conjure one conjure one – specially packaged limited ed. 2-cd set
covenant northern light
christian death only theatre of pain
cruxshadows echoes and artifacts
cruxshadows ethernaut
cruxshadows fortress in flames
cruxshadows frozen embers
cruxshadows immortal
cruxshadows paradox addendum
cruxshadows telemetry of a fallen angel
cruxshadows the mystery of the whisper
cruxshadows wishfire
cruxshadows & dreamside & paralysed age & thoushaltnot vier factor #1
cure bloodflowers
cure concert – the cure live
cure disintegration – five imaginary boys live in concert (bootleg)
cure kiss me, kiss me, kiss me
cure lovesong
cure pornography
cure staring at the sea – the singles
cure three imaginary boys
cure wish
cusco 2000
cusco 2002
cusco ancient journeys – a vision of the new world
cusco apurimac
cusco apurimac II – return to ancient america
cusco apurimac III – nature + spirit + pride
cusco inner journeys: myths & legends
cusco mystic island
cusco ring of the dolphin
cusco the best of cusco
cusco water stories
d.j. akira groove machine
d.j. akira tokyo 2000
d.j. storm & johnny dangerously perfect timing volume II
d.j. tiesto live at innercity – amsterdam RAI
d.j. tiesto magik seven – live in los angeles
d.j. tiesto summerbreeze
dargaard in nomine aeternitatis
dargaard the dissolution of eternity
david arkenstone music inspired by middle earth
david bowie changesbowie
dead can dance a passage in time
dead can dance aion
dead can dance buried in music
dead can dance into the labyrinth
dead can dance spiritchaser
dead can dance spleen and ideal
dead can dance summoning of the muse
dead can dance the serpent’s egg
dead can dance toward the within
dead can dance within the realm of a dying sun
dead leaves rising shadow complex
delerium chimera
delerium euphoria (firefly)
delerium euphoric
delerium faces, forms and illusions
delerium karma
delerium morpheus
delerium odyssey – the remix collection
delerium poem
delerium semantic spaces
delerium spheres
delerium stone tower
delerium syrophenikan
dido no angel
duran duran duran duran (1993)
duran duran seven and the ragged tiger
eleven shadows caro mia ben
eleven shadows in strange lines and distances
eleven shadows sangsara
enchanted enchanted
enigma 2 – the cross of changes
enigma 3 – le roi est mort, vive le roi!
enigma return to innocence
enigma the eyes of truth
eurythmics sweet dreams (are made of this)
evanescence fallen
faith and the muse annwyn, beneath the waves
faith and the muse elyria
faith and the muse evidence of heaven
faith and the muse the burning season
faith and the muse vera causa
frolic permafrost
frolic to dream, perchance to sleep
future sound of london accelerator
future sound of london cascade
future sound of london dead cities
future sound of london lifeforms 1
future sound of london lifeforms 2
future sound of london my kingdom
garbage G
gary allan see if i care
gary numan exile – extended
gary stadler & singh kaur fairy nightsongs
glenn danzig black aria
impressions of winter end of a summer
in the nursery anatomy of a poet
in the nursery exhibit
in the nursery groundloop
in the nursery koda
in the nursery l’engel
in the nursery l’esprit
inkubus sukkubus belladonna & aconite
inkubus sukkubus vampyre erotica
jah wobble 30 hertz collection
jah wobble deep space
jah wobble jah wobble presents the light programme
jah wobble requiem
jah wobble umbra sumus
jah wobble & the invaders of the heart full moon over the shopping mall
janis joplin 18 essential songs
joe kowan double sided – live at the new faces show at club passim
johnny cash american IV – the man comes around
josh gracin josh gracin
juno reactor beyond the infinite
juno reactor bible of dreams
juno reactor god is god
juno reactor labyrinth
juno reactor odyssey – 1992-2002
juno reactor samurai
juno reactor shango
kate bush hounds of love
kate bush lionheart
kate bush never for ever
kate bush the dreaming
kate bush the sensual world
kate bush the whole story
lacuna coil comalies
lacuna coil in a reverie
lacuna coil unleashed memories
l’ame immortelle als die liebe starb
l’ame immortelle danne habe ich umsonst gelebt
l’ame immortelle wenn derletze schatten fallt
l’ame immortelle zwielicht
lee blaske behind the day – journey of a vampire
legendary pink dots curse
linkin park :[hybrid theory]
lisa gerrard the mirror pool
lisa gerrard & pieter bourke duality
love and rockets sorted! the best of love and rockets
love is colder than death atopos
love is colder than death auter – a compilation
love is colder than death mental traveller
love is colder than death oxeia
love is colder than death teignmouth
love spirals downwards ardor
love spirals downwards ever
love spirals downwards flux
love spirals downwards idylls
love spirals downwards temporal
loveliescrushing xuvetyn
lovespirals windblown kiss
lycia a day in the stark corner
lycia cold
lycia compilation appearances vol.2 – the ohio years
lycia estrella
lycia ionia
machine in the garden asphodel
machine in the garden one winter’s night…
machine in the garden out of the mists
machine in the garden underworld
massive attack teardrop
mediaeval baebes salva nos
mediaeval baebes the best of the mediaeval baebes
mediaeval baebes the rose
mediaeval baebes undrentide
mediaeval baebes worldes blysse
metallica load
metallica master of puppets
midnight syndicate dungeons & dragons
mighty mighty bosstones let’s face it
miranda sex garden carnival of souls
miranda sex garden iris
miranda sex garden madra
miranda sex garden suspiria
moby everything is wrong
moby play
moon and the melodies the moon and the melodies
moon seven times 7=49
moon seven times sunburnt
moon seven times the moon seven times
moors ”’ ///// || || / |||| , ,,,
morphine like swimming
morrissey i’m a poet
morrissey & siouxsie interlude
mortiis the smell of rain
mylene farmer l’autre…
nine inch nails march of the pigs
nouvelle vague bande a part
nouvelle vague nouvelle vague
nox arcana necronomicon
orbital 2
orbital in sides
orbital the middle of nowhere
p j harvey 4-track demos
p j harvey dry
p j harvey rid of me
p j harvey to bring you my love
p!nk m!ssundaztood
persephone home
peter murphy cascade
peter murphy deep
peter murphy love hysteria
peter ulrich pathways and dawns
pilori zeit des lichts
police ghost in the machine
police synchronicity
quiet matters another thought…
rasputina cabin fever
rasputina how we quit the forest
razed in black …damaged
razed in black oh my goth!
rhea’s obsession between earth and sky
sarah mclachlan fumbling towards ecstasy
sarah mclachlan remixed
sarah mclachlan surfacing
shadow project shadow project
shinjuku thief the scribbler
shinjuku thief the witch hammer
shonen knife let’s knife
shroud a dark moon night
shroud in the garden
shroud long ago and far away
single gun theory exorcise this wasteland
single gun theory flow, river of my soul
single gun theory the stars in my hands
siouxsie and the banshees the scream
siouxsie and the banshees tinderbox
smiths hatful of hollow
smiths the peel sessions
smiths the smiths
smiths the world won’t listen
smiths there is a light that never goes out 1
smiths there is a light that never goes out 2
smiths this charming man 1
smiths this charming man 2
soil & eclipse archetype
soil & eclipse purity
soil & eclipse veridian
soil bleeds black mirror of the middle ages
soil bleeds black quintessence
soul whirling somewhere hope was
soundtrack akira: original soundtrack
soundtrack fruits basket – memory for you
soundtrack love hina original sound file
soundtrack martian successor nadesico – nadesico cd-001
soundtrack martian successor nadesico (cover japanese)
soundtrack martian successor nadesico (cover mostly japanese)
soundtrack martian successor nadesico : ruri hoshino (cover mostly japanese)
soundtrack nadesico the movie – the prince of darkness
soundtrack original soundtrack from tenchi the movie
soundtrack princess mononoke
soundtrack serial experiments lain – bootleg
soundtrack serial experiments lain – cyberia mix
soundtrack serial experiments lain – soundtrack
soundtrack tenchi muyo!
soundtrack the crow
soundtrack the lord of the rings – the fellowship of the ring
soundtrack the lord of the rings – the return of the king
soundtrack the phantom of the opera – original cast recording
soundtrack trigun spicy stewed donut
soundtrack vampire princes miyu – best collection (japanese)
soundtrack X original soundtrack
spahn ranch architecture
spahn ranch beat noir
spahn ranch closure
squirrel nut zippers hot
steve roach light fantastic
steve roach midnight moon
steve roach on this planet
steve roach & elmar schulte solitaire: ritual ground
steve roach & vidna obmana well of souls
stoa porta VIII
stoa urthona
switchblade symphony bread and jam for frances
switchblade symphony serpentine gallery
switchblade symphony sinister nostalgia
switchblade symphony the three calamities
synaesthesia desideratum
taliesin orchestra forbidden forest – impressions of george winston
tara vanflower this womb like liquid honey
theatre of tragedy [‘mju’zik]
theatre of tragedy aegis
theatre of tragedy assembly
theatre of tragedy theatre of tragedy
theatre of tragedy velvet darkness they fear
therion degial
therion secret of the runes
therion symphony masses: ho drakon ho megas
this ascension light and shade
this ascension sever
this ascension tears in rain
this mortal coil blood
this mortal coil filigree & shadow
this mortal coil it’ll end in tears
tones on tail night music
tori amos boys for pele
tori amos collection – tales of a librarian
tori amos from the choirgirl hotel
tori amos strangelittlegirls
tori amos to venus and back
tori amos under the pink
underworld 1992-2002
underworld beaucoup fish
various [signal to noise] [reinforced industrial hits]
various 12 tales
various a cat-shaped hole in my heart
various a gothic industrial tribute to the smashing pumpkins
various a tribute to siouxsie and the banshees
various a tribute to the cure – 100 tears
various advance electronics vol.1
various advance electronics vol.2
various advance warning – new music inside (mtv360 presents)
various angel’s delight I
various angel’s delight II
various angel’s delight III
various asleep by dawn presents dj ferret’s underground club mix #1
various beauty in darkness vol.5
various beneath the icy floe v.5
various cantara I – neo classic & beautiful voices
various cantara II – neo classic & beautiful voices
various cantara III – neo classic & beautiful voices
various cantara IV – neo classic & beautiful voices
various dancing in the dark – 10 years of dancing ferret
various dancing in the dark 2006 – a dancing ferret compilation
various dark treasures – a gothic tribute to the cocteau twins
various darken my fire – a gothic tribute to the doors
various darkwave – music of the shadows v.2
various death for life vol.1 – an aids benefit compilation
various electro cured – an electro tribute to the cure
various excelsis I – a dark noel
various excelsis II – a winter’s song
various excelsis III – a prelude
various fairies, elves & angels vol.1
various fairies, elves & angels vol.2
various from across this gray land no.3
various goth – music of the shadows v.1
various gothic divas
various heavenly voices – part 1 (hyperium label)
various heavenly voices – part 2 (hyperium label)
various heavenly voices – part 4 (hyperium label)
various heavenly voices – part V
various heavenly voices I
various heavenly voices III
various lonely is an eyesore
various music from the succubus club; vampire: the masquerade
various new dark noise – the darkwave dance floor killer no filler
various orkus club hits 2
various projekt – orphee
various projekt 100 – the early years 1985-1995
various projekt 2000 june & july
various projekt 2002.1
various projekt 2002.2
various projekt 2002.3
various projekt 2003.2 (2 copies)
various projekt autumn
various projekt presents: a dark cabaret
various projekt: gothic – an ethereal / darkwave compilation
various projekt – seireenia
various songs of a goddess – a tribute to tori amos
various the carnival within – a tribute to dead can dance
various the new face of goth
various the passion of covers – a tribute to bauhaus
various the projekt sampler – beneath the icy floe v.6
various this is neo-goth (3-cd set)
various tribute to dead can dance – the lotus eaters
various various artists for the masses (depeche mode tribute)
vidna obmana 1
vidna obmana memories compiled 2
voltaire almost human
voltaire boo hoo
wolfsheim casting shadows
wolfsheim spectators
yuka honda eucademix
yuka honda memories are my only witness